May 5, 2008
HILLARY ATTACKED BY MADMAN, THEN KILLS HIM
(LBP)
Portland, OR, 9 May 2008, 9:15 PM PT A man broke through the
cordon of Secret Service agents guarding Sen. Hillary Clinton and attacked
her as she spoke to a crowd of some three thousand at a campaign event at
the Oregon Convention Center this evening. Grabbing the presidential
candidate before she could flee, he flung her to the stage floor, then fell
upon her and withdrew a large wooden stake from his black cape and rammed
the wooden stake through her heart. Before agents and police could
reach the man, Sen. Clinton, the stake still stuck in her body, arose from
the floor, holding the attacker by his shoulders. Crowd members close
to the stage report that the New York junior Senator emitted a low, guttural
laugh and said, "Van Helsing, you believe that fairy tale?"
Sen. Clinton then bit the intruder's neck and drank his blood.
As police removed the attacker's dead body, Sen. Clinton
told them, "I knew him. I always thought he was crazy."
Withdrawing the stake from her chest, Sen. Clinton
resisted pleas that she seek medical attention and insisted instead on
completing her speech. She received a smattering of applause when she
insisted, "Neither I nor my campaign will die." She received the
greatest applause, later, with the line, "There may no longer be a stake in
me, but we all have a stake in America!"
