May 11, 2008
HILLARY CLAIMS BIG LEAD AMONG SUPERS
(LBP)
Chappaqua, NY, 11 May 2008, 10:00 AM ET The Clinton campaign
this morning released an "open memo" arguing that Hillary Clinton's
nomination for president, as well as her victory in November, is "a virtual
certainty." The memo argues that, while Barack Obama currently has a
"small lead among delegates," they are "virtually deadlocked among super
delegates, but Hillary Clinton holds an insurmountable and still growing
lead among supernatural delegates."
Supernatural Delegates attributed by the memo to the
Clinton side include: Jesus Christ, Thor, Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Hino
(Iroquois thunder god), Aphrodite, Juno, Thanatos, Horus, Isis, Sue Storm
(Invisible Girl of Fantastic Four), and Mother Earth. The memo argues
that the only Supernatural Delegate known to have announced for Obama is
Muhammad, and throws in, "But is that spelled Muhammad or Mohammed
or Mohamed or how? Should we really count a Supernatural
Delegate who can't even spell his own name and who founded the religion that
so causes divisiveness in America?"
Supernatural Delegates are a heretofore ignored category
of individuals expected to attend the Democratic National Convention this
August.
Terry McAuliffe, reached by telephone, admitted that Supernatural
Delegates are not allotted votes at the convention, but he argued that they
nonetheless will "exert immeasurable influence on voting delegates.
Besides," he contended, "we all know that they should have votes!
What? We're not satisfied with disenfranchising Michigan and Florida?
Now Obama wants us to ignore the gods as well? Well, that's
not the democratic way, and I don't think that voting Americans will agree
with Obama."
The memo released this morning argues: "Hillary
Clinton's lead among Supernatural Delegates is insurmountable and is still
growing. This is especially impressive when one considers that the
number of Supernatural Delegates is infinite."
The Obama campaign was not immediately available for
comment.
